Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
