I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
