Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
