Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
