this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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