Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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