i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
