wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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