VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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