Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
