somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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