no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
