Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
