well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
