I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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