Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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