Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
