i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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