TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
