What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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