for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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