I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
