I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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