oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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