Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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