even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am naked and annoyed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize