Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize