blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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