I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
