Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
