I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
