At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize