if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize