butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
