cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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