He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
