But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
