i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She said her name was "party"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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