bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
