Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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