i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
