He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
