did you get engaged???
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
