whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
