At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
