He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
