my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
