Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I AM VODKA MAN
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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