For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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