@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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