Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
