We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
