got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
