he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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