i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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