How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
