she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
