Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I look better un-naked...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize