all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
