So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
