i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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