Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
