I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
