that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize