There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
